December do your worst!

[sweetwilla]

As a child I loved December and all the Christmas splendor: singing carols, decorating cookies, Santa, The Tree, colorful lights, presents, the Big Star atop Rattlesnake Mountain, ALL of it. This year not so much. I am shuffling along under a dark cloud with little joy out of this hectic schedule of wonderful events that are supposed to enrich this month. Already I have attended a holiday party (50+ people eating rich food, drinking, conversing all the while watching 2 football games on TV), Christmas on the Prado in Balboa Park (name changed to December Nights), a production of The Grinch in San Diego's Old Globe Theater, and there is more to come. Garden docent party/gift exchange on Wednesday night. Have listened to negotiations among people in my circle of friends over who goes where on Christmas Eve and day. I have been asked several times for my "gift list". I have no gift list. I don't need a thing! I have no clue to what I could buy for certain others that might bring joy rather than become a burden. I feel as though I have become The Grinch myself. I can't even tell others when they ask the truth about the holiday season. I just mumble platitudes and move on. But the truth is I'm struggling this year.